I am a 55 year old female who has had Fibromyalgia for all of my adult life and probably as far back as my teens. The first I can remember was a bout with Bronchitis when I was a sophomore in High School. It took me a week of being in the hospital and lots of home time to get better.
Since that time I have always been in pain or always getting a bug that took me longer to shake than anybody else. I can remember even then being called a hypochondriac because I had Mono for such a long time.

In 1964, I was married and in the next 5 years proceeded to have my two children. My pregnancies were very difficult but I did quite well after our sons were born.

In my 30's I started having chronic to severe back pain which resulted in removal of 2/3 of disc L5. For years after and still to this day I have bouts of back pain. Now it has progressed to the neck. I have been diagnosed with degenerative disc disease.

I continued to have many health problems, from having a hysterectomy at age 26 to allergies that kept me in the doctor’s office almost constantly. At age 54 I had to undergo a Total Knee Replacement due to the fact that the knee joint was gone. Bone on bone. This, the Dr. said, was due to all of the prednisone I was given over the years for pain and allergies. My other knee needs to be done also but I am just waiting until it gets bad enough.

I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia in 1993. At last a name. My husband of 38 years now was convinced many many years ago that one day they would find what was wrong with me. Low and behold he is the one who, upon reading an article, said, "This is what you have".

I used to be a very active, productive, do it all person. I had two very lively boys that kept me busy but I would still get sick and it would take me a long time to get somewhat better.

I tried working outside of the home but it just never seemed to work out. The fatigue and frustration of being tired and hurting was more than I could manage with the two boys.

We were a close-knit family and always did things together. Having boys, we did a lot of outdoor activities. I look back now and I can see the more demanding the activities the more I had to push to keep up with my family. Fishing, grass cutting and mechanical work all were part of my life as well as being a full time mom and housewife.

My favorite of all was my crafts. I have a natural ability to do and to be able to learn how to do many crafts. And then I got into the wooden crafts. Oh, how I loved to work with wood and paints. My hubbie got an early retirement and we decided to open a craft shop. I had established myself in our community and this was going to be fun. And so it was until 2 years later when I could no longer safely handle the equipment necessary to do my job. It became harder and harder to get out of the bed in the morning and to make myself get started. Until finally I could do it no longer. Very sadly I had to give it up.

Having taken the cortisone type steroids and the prednisone for so many years, I have also gained an awful lot of weight. Most of which I can directly relate to the time I was on these medications. 10 pounds for each time. I cannot loose this weight for now I am not very active. Exercise is very much too painful and it sends me to bed for 2 to 3 days later.

I now have 4 WONDERFUL!!!! grandchildren, whom I love very much but can't do what I would like to do with them. They want to come to my house and play and sometimes I have to tell them no. It is so hard to break their little hearts but on those days I would be hurting them more than helping. Between the pain and the sensitivity to light and noises, it would not be a pleasant experience for either of us. Thank God even the 4 year old understands. So on good days we make sure that one of the children gets to come over.

Ok, this is a productive day in my life. I awake in the morning very stiff and sore, like someone has been beating on me all night long. I get up very slowly and hold onto my bed and dresser so as not to fall down. This gives me my first few steps supported by something. I go to my bathroom and do the hygiene thing and then head down the hall towards the kitchen. Most mornings I can make it there without stopping to rest. I manage to get breakfast together and then it is rest time. Now it is do a few things like load the dishwasher and rest or the washing machine and rest vacuum one or part of one room and rest. And that is how my day goes. If I am having a good day I can cook dinner but most of the time my hubbie does. Thank God he is now retired.

This has affected my family in oh so many ways. They know that I cannot be depended upon for more than a 24-hour notice to do anything with or for them. And at that there are times when I can't even give them that much notice. My grandchildren know that Granny can't play ball or go skating or ride bikes with them. Mostly I go swimming or do the coloring book thing or we watch movies. I always manage to spend some sort of quality time with them. My hubbie and my biggest supporter also has lost the wife, woman and friend he thought he would have at this point in time. I cannot do those things that we Oh, so enjoyed to do just a few years ago. Sometimes I do them anyway but pay a dear price for having done it.

Thank God for a great insurance system that we have. It pays for almost all of Dr. visits, medications, and procedures that have been needed in the past. I pray that it continues to do so in the future. I am also fortunate for a wonderful Internist who takes care of my everyday medical needs, a SUPER Rheumatologist that takes care of the Fibro. and the discs. Between the two of them (they work with each other on my case) they keep me as well as can be expected. Even better than most I must say. They listen to what I have to say and work with me. I am my Rheumatologist’s star patient and he says that my positive attitude plays a big part in helping him to treat me. Also they make sure that if I have to see a specialist that he/she knows about FMS and will treat me accordingly. I am blessed.

Don't think for a minute that my life is gloom and doom. I am blessed with this Fibro for a reason. I have not been able to come to the point of thanking God for it but I am at the point of being a very happy and satisfied person. I have a WONDERFUL husband, a great son, a daughter in law that understands and helps when she can, 4 beautiful grandchildren and my mother in law and sister in law are so very supportive. There has had to be separation of those who do not support me. I cannot waste the energy that it takes to carry them along. They drag me down and get depressing. I have had to grieve the loss of a lifestyle that I thought I knew would come about. But instead I am faced with a challenge of day-to-day living. This may not be a bad thing. It has made me stop and smell the roses along the way and to appreciate what God has put on this earth for us to care for. I sometimes sit and just watch our family interact with each other and think if I were not here to watch and I were busy doing, I would have missed this moment. I sometimes still long for the doing.

I wasn't ready for you to go, we had so much adventuring yet to do. I miss you Di!

"Do not mourn my death, celebrate my life."; You always said. Oh how easy those words are to say, but so much harder to do. I miss you Di. You've only been gone a few days but already there's an empty void in my life that only you could fill.

Celebrating your life, however, is easy. It's funny that were it not for the Internet we would of never met, my friend. And it's sad to think that Gators ICQ will never light up again; I'll miss that uh-oh and your phone calls. "Mims this is your sis, get off that Internet now. I am calling you back in 5 minutes, 5 minutes do you hear me?" I always had to laugh when I heard your voice, and yes, I ALWAYS got offline for your calls. I mean, I would not risk the [][][][][:0 of the Gator...

Summer of 2000 when Wayne, Denise and you came to spend a few weeks with me were magical moments. Fishing on the pontoon; and yes, I concede, you did catch the most fish. Wasn't it fun, a more beautiful day couldn't of been asked for.

Now who am I going to slam my refrigerator doors at? and I still say butter goes on rice, not gravy.

Hey, if Confucius is up there, would you please ask him why he chose me for that particular fortune cookie? I don't think I have ever laughed so hard in my life as when I opened that cookie and it said, "The only thing you have to fear is your own stupidity." And you; thinking I should ask for free meals, after all I had been insulted hadn't I?

I am going to miss your smile with the twinkling eyes that held just a hint at of mischievousness behind them. ( Did I say just a hint?)

My dear friend Di. I miss you, I love you. God speed 'til we meet again.